After a bit of consideration...
Okay, okay, okay. So I have neglected my newest baby and let the poor child nearly half starve. It is a very sad state of affairs, I cannot disagree. However, I can explain.
It all started upon an arrival to the home I have known for so long...
Well, as you can imagine - everything began to pile atop other things and Christmas had to be prepared for; and the shopping, and the cooking, and the cleaning...ish, and the decorations, and the cramming all too many things in an inadequately smallish room, and whimpering about the mess...
And well, you know. It just sort of swallowed me whole after a while.
...sigh.
But I am back, again.
And now, here is a thought Widge and I have shared:
Unfortunetly, I do not have an answer to that question. I oft times do sit and wonder upon it though, questioning myself at every turn if I have made a terrible mistake or if I am still in the right...
...or if it is even worth trying to discern with myself.
And everytime, the blank remains - and I remain with my dim world and lighted eyes...
...just as before.
And then, I remember that at least I have seen what the daylight does look like; and that in the end of things is at least worth knowing it exists somewhere.
And so, I stare at the prospects and, just as before, I end.
Because oft times, it is all one can do - to simply end.
-RK
Oh, and p.s. cheerful new year thoughts to all my fellows out there. May your new times wishes work to becoming true.
It all started upon an arrival to the home I have known for so long...
Well, as you can imagine - everything began to pile atop other things and Christmas had to be prepared for; and the shopping, and the cooking, and the cleaning...ish, and the decorations, and the cramming all too many things in an inadequately smallish room, and whimpering about the mess...
And well, you know. It just sort of swallowed me whole after a while.
...sigh.
But I am back, again.
And now, here is a thought Widge and I have shared:
Is seeing the light really worth it if the rest of the world always looks dim after that moment?
Unfortunetly, I do not have an answer to that question. I oft times do sit and wonder upon it though, questioning myself at every turn if I have made a terrible mistake or if I am still in the right...
...or if it is even worth trying to discern with myself.
And everytime, the blank remains - and I remain with my dim world and lighted eyes...
...just as before.
And then, I remember that at least I have seen what the daylight does look like; and that in the end of things is at least worth knowing it exists somewhere.
And so, I stare at the prospects and, just as before, I end.
Because oft times, it is all one can do - to simply end.
-RK
Oh, and p.s. cheerful new year thoughts to all my fellows out there. May your new times wishes work to becoming true.
6 Comments:
Ah! You've finally posted, now we are tied although I believe that I still have the most words posted ;)
And yes 'tis a question most profound that we discovered quite on accident!
We were discussing the absolutely wonderful Italian coffee and how all coffee since then tasted like sludge and I commented that it may not have been worth drinking it if every bit of coffee that once brought joy now only brought longing for what we knew to be better.
Than Rali made the comment and it's profundity was apparent.
Well, anyway (I have to say "anyway" vs. my usual "nehoo" as the latter annoys Rali now, bah)
Back to forever longing for a more I can never have in this lifetime!
wOOT!
Yeah, adding to that coffee thing, I haven't touched the stuff since coming back to the US either. It is most depressing.
Just yesterday I was so tempted because they were serving coffee at the Steven's Pass ski lodge in glasses like they did in Italy but then I remembered looks aren't everything and I was overwhelmed by a sense of profound longing. It's that whole Matrix thing, isn't it? We're ruined forever.
AHH you would so have failed "The Girl in the Red Dress" test.
...Although with you it would have been "The Guy in the Red Dress"
...OK, "The Guy in the Red Clothes"
...OK, OK, "The Guy in the Red-but-of-a-Masculine-Shade Clothes"
ooo, even better, "The Guy Who Looks Remarkably Like Phantom From the New Phantom of the Opera Movie in the Red-but-of-a-Masculine-Shade Clothes"
Or even better still!!
"The Guy Who Looks Remarkably Like Phantom From the New Phantom of the Opera Movie Becasue He IS The Phantom From the New Phantom of the Opera Movie in the Red-but-of-a-Masculine-Shade Clothes"
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard right now my head hurts! Yeah, if the "Girl in the Red Dress" looked like that, I would totally have failed.
Good analogy for the coffee too. Looks wonderful but in reality is EEEVIL.
Hey, I'm all down with failing the "women in the red dress" test if it means I get the "The Guy Who Looks Remarkably Like Phantom From the New Phantom of the Opera Movie Becasue He IS The Phantom From the New Phantom of the Opera Movie in the Red-but-of-a-Masculine-Shade Clothes".
Heck Yeah!
Ooh, one point of reference though: can we improve his singing bit to be more...erm, profound, first? Then I'm all in!
I agree with you on the singing, it wasn't all that good. But he was so magnetic personality-wise and so very HOT that I love him anyway. Mmmmmmmm!!!
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