Impractical
Why a thesaurus, why a friend, why these tears?
A simple search for, "a word for something that was real and still is real in snippets here and there but is mostly gone?"
An then in the search, that word, so simple, yet so cruel. Does it really describe the underlying reason for this distress that I keep feeling. And the song plays cruelly in the background, "smile like you mean it."
But do I really mean it anymore. Why is this so impractical? Why are those things that make us happy so unrealistic in the long run. Why feel such happiness only to be plunged into such anguish.
We are already chasing that dream, that ivory-tower that lives in our memories and I'm so scared that it is lost forever.
A simple search for, "a word for something that was real and still is real in snippets here and there but is mostly gone?"
An then in the search, that word, so simple, yet so cruel. Does it really describe the underlying reason for this distress that I keep feeling. And the song plays cruelly in the background, "smile like you mean it."
But do I really mean it anymore. Why is this so impractical? Why are those things that make us happy so unrealistic in the long run. Why feel such happiness only to be plunged into such anguish.
We are already chasing that dream, that ivory-tower that lives in our memories and I'm so scared that it is lost forever.
2 Comments:
I guess I ought to give you a bit of background to this post. I am not going to England in December due to a combination of finance and work issues. I have been trying to get skypeout to work so I can actually talk to Mark and Melissa regularly but it keeps not working. In working on a post for my blog mourning my loss of trip to England I was searching for a word and asked a friend for help while looking up stuff in a thesaurus. I found the word "impractical" and started bawling. He asked why I needed such a word and I said because I was being melonchly in a blog on a completely different subject only to realize that we were talking about how we had been slowly drifting apart for some time. Suffice to say this did not help the tears that flowing. And of course my new Killers cd had to chime in with, "smile like you mean it" just as this was all coming together. To be honest I would be positively delighted if we all up and moved to the same city or at least general area. The only close friend I have in the area I feel like I'm not being honest with because I'm so scared of alienating him knowing I'm so far from the other people I would talk to.
That's really sad, love. I feel you pain, truly. Impractical is a horrible, horrible word in this context - but please, don't lose hope, at least for the smkrs. Scattered we may be, but we still seem to be doing fairly well making time for us to be together. Remember September? (Argh ignore the rhyme)
Sorry you couldn't go back to England, though - but if you really want to do that international business thing and live there, there is still always a chance for that!
Post a Comment
<< Home