By the way...
You all should really call Rali if you want to be able to stay in touch because the two of us got insanely sick of our incredibly stupid ghetto phones and decided to throw them out in favor of new, slick, advanced phones!
Well, actually we thought at first that we were doing that.
Then we played with the phone they gave us for a few days.
They were flip-up picture phones with the little screen on the front that is supposed to show the picture that you painstakingly took of the person who is calling you, in an awkward pose. Instead they decided to install the front screen so that you could wish you had that feature.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, there was a clock feature on the outside, front panel too. So you could use it as a clock for the five seconds before it turned off. Well, that was a bit ridiculous so we went to the settings to change that to 30 seconds. That was much better. And after the front screen turned off they conviently left out any blinking light or LCD display to assure you that your phone is still on. It would have been useful seeing as the alarm to tell you that the phone was dying was about as loud as atoms gently vibrating. And there was no setting to change that sound.
So after careful consideration of how long we could stand not throwing the phone at a wall, we went back to Verizon and asked for the $20 dollar upgrade model, our pockets caving to our cultured phone tastes. Luckily for us the special deal we got when we set up our account let us get this new and improved phone for only $1.45 each. Which was awesome. And this one shows pictures on the outside!
Anyway.
Call Rali's old cell phone number and you will hear a short message updating your number catalogue orally. Then to know the number of my phone, which I am sure you are all shivering with exitement about, simply change the last number of Rali's phone number by simply adding 2, simply dividing by 8, simply multiplying by 25, simply subtracting 1, and simply dividing by 3 and then simply taking that number and simply substituing it for the final number of Rali's number and then you will have simply discovered my number!
Simple!
Or if the math is too difficult for you, or too simple for your amazingly complex mind, simply call the number Rali reported and ask the person on the other end. She will be able to assist you in connecting to me.
The one you really want to talk to.
Don't bother the person on the line with any salutation or plesantries or anything just burst in with "THE NUMBER FOR WIDGEON PLEASE" and she will be happy to serve.
Well, actually we thought at first that we were doing that.
Then we played with the phone they gave us for a few days.
They were flip-up picture phones with the little screen on the front that is supposed to show the picture that you painstakingly took of the person who is calling you, in an awkward pose. Instead they decided to install the front screen so that you could wish you had that feature.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, there was a clock feature on the outside, front panel too. So you could use it as a clock for the five seconds before it turned off. Well, that was a bit ridiculous so we went to the settings to change that to 30 seconds. That was much better. And after the front screen turned off they conviently left out any blinking light or LCD display to assure you that your phone is still on. It would have been useful seeing as the alarm to tell you that the phone was dying was about as loud as atoms gently vibrating. And there was no setting to change that sound.
So after careful consideration of how long we could stand not throwing the phone at a wall, we went back to Verizon and asked for the $20 dollar upgrade model, our pockets caving to our cultured phone tastes. Luckily for us the special deal we got when we set up our account let us get this new and improved phone for only $1.45 each. Which was awesome. And this one shows pictures on the outside!
Anyway.
Call Rali's old cell phone number and you will hear a short message updating your number catalogue orally. Then to know the number of my phone, which I am sure you are all shivering with exitement about, simply change the last number of Rali's phone number by simply adding 2, simply dividing by 8, simply multiplying by 25, simply subtracting 1, and simply dividing by 3 and then simply taking that number and simply substituing it for the final number of Rali's number and then you will have simply discovered my number!
Simple!
Or if the math is too difficult for you, or too simple for your amazingly complex mind, simply call the number Rali reported and ask the person on the other end. She will be able to assist you in connecting to me.
The one you really want to talk to.
Don't bother the person on the line with any salutation or plesantries or anything just burst in with "THE NUMBER FOR WIDGEON PLEASE" and she will be happy to serve.
2 Comments:
Wow, so this is married life. A new fear has filled my bones like the chill that emananates from a frozen ermine caracas in the vast north. Right, on to Italian food.
If I were you, I would definitely cower in fear, run, and hide before you can no longer escape!
Maybe it's just me, though D:
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